$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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