Christians are straight up FREAKS
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
