I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
