She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
