where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
