You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
