Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
