So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
