3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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