Small penises have feelings too.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
