Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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