Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Randomize
