Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize