How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Who did Billy Mays play for?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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