Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
