people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
