Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
