I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Found your dick twin last night
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
