There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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