I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I smell like Dick and happiness
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
