he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
