brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
