why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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