Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
