Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
