Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The uberlube is also flammable
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
