He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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