I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
