Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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