So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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