sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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