Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
