I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
