what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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