thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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