You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You may now shotgun with the bride
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
