he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
