Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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