It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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