I wish I only lived at night.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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