It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
