you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
