she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I will be naked everywhere
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
