The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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