PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
