Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
