We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Are we still banned from the library?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
