DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
