Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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