May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
