I didn't shave. On purpose
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
