you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
