She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
