they need to just BURY HIM!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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