Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
COCAINE IS GR8
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
