weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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