He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Holy sore nipples Batman
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
