well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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