I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You work out of a Hotel?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
