I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
