People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
