i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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