My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
