are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
