I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
