if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize