I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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