everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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